When the Warped Tour launched in 1994, nearly all the featured acts played really fast, got profanely angry about politics, and said funny s* on stage. Also, unwatched by most, “extreme athletes” performed. The heavy corporate presence, amphitheater settings and lofty concession prices bristled some Mohawks. Other than that, it wasn’t the worst possible way to spend a day, if you were 14 or so. Scattered decent acts participated, and you’d leave not much dumber than you entered.
By contrast, attending Warped 2008 is like having someone attach sand to your skin with liquid cement, blowtorch that sand into a form-fitting glass shell, then forcibly shatter that encasing, driving shards into every inch of your naked flesh.