Why Did No One Inform Us Of The Imminent Death Of The American Newspaper Industry? – America’s Finest News Source:
Disloyal Americans! You have aided these treasonous snakes in their plot against Yu Wan Mei. First you refuse to ingest our coagulated octopus paste at a fast enough rate, and now you hold a dagger to the throat of the printed word itself! Your obsession with personal liberty has been a burden on your nation’s success for generations, and now you sit there like livestock as an entire industry falls to dust around you—the very industry upon which you construct your imaginary foundation of free speech!